Tough love and networking

The most powerful piece of networking training I ever attended was an intensive three-day course called "Working with the C-suite." We were put through a wringer of challenges by a panel of CEOs, CIOs and CFOs. Opening day consisted of introductions, where I took a friendly, chatty and humor-filled approach to meeting my peers, as I do to relax a crowd.

We were thrust into small groups and introduced ourselves to a mentoring CxO to establish a connection and understand their challenges. My mentor was a gruff looking older bloke of asian background. I introduced myself "Hi Goutam, my name is Pierre Nunns, I'd like a moment of your time to ..." He interrupted me. "Do we know each other? I responded in the negative. "Then why presume to use my first name without asking how I would like to be addressed?" - it threw my natural ease for the rest of the session, unbalanced and upset at my clumsiness. 

Subsequent sessions were a blur, noting pecking orders and other activities. I was distracted by previous events.

That evening, we grouped over a black-tie dinner. Each table had a CxO. After a couple of glasses of wine I relaxed. I spoke about the amazing work my company was doing in big data to improve the climate, food sustainability and livable cities. I was excited, finally working toward a cause I believed in. I brought others into the conversation, asking others by name for comment or input. It was energising and a much-needed positive experience. 

The following days were gruelling and my perceptions continued to take a beating - my grumpy CFO enjoying the sport of being a hard nut to crack. The morning of day three, after an all-nighter team proposal build, I was visibly nervous. It was then the CIO who sat at our dinner table took me aside and asked if he could offer feedback.

"Yes please!" He said; "Pierre, when I first saw you at the course opening, I saw your joviality and thought "lightweight. Does not take these things seriously." I was ready to dismiss you there and then. That evening, however, I saw a different man. I heard you speak with passion and knowledge about your company initiatives, how it could change the world. I saw fire in your eyes and purpose. You drew others into the vision and engaged their contribution. I saw the real Pierre and his leadership. If you want, I would welcome working with you. If you are in Singapore my door is open." He explained the challenges laid at us were to deliberately disrupt our mindsets, open us up to challenge and to think strategically. 

In the end it was that dinner and the feedback that stuck in my mind. Such is the power of networking - such is the power of being true to who you are. I finished the course a lot stronger and more aware than I started. I learned to ask questions but to also see the need to clearly articulate who I am and what I stand for. It is our true self and the way we share it that attracts others to us.